Motivation//Unmoving

It’s hard for me to stay motivated. Not just for a day or two, but all the time. It’s bizarre that I can only choose one or two paths when I want to take them all.

Especially in an artform? Forget it. Who knows if you’ll even make it with your art. But who cares even. If you make art, your an artist.

It’s just hard to get out of bed some days. And I hate work. The only reason I haven’t thrown myself into a artform is because I have to work to survive. I get up the best I can everyday. But some days I just sit there.

And that’s all I can do.

Routines are hard, but they work. Or so I’ve heard. I don’t actually have one. Maybe that’s part of the problem. It’s hard to say.

I hardly care.

Utopia//Dystopia

I certainly thought that after college, life would magically get better. No such luck.

All I do is work, home sleep. Sure, I’m just getting my “Real life” started, but I thought my 20’s would be more fun.

But there are all these things going on. And I just want to have fun. It’s not all fun and games like I thought.

There’s all this death and dying and I can handle that, it happens. But not day after day. Just stop.

There is a constant pain all the time. And not even the good things can help.

I guess that’s it.

Undedicated//Undecided

It’s hard to figure out what to do, especially now. I just graduated college with an undergrad degree and am about to go into a masters. I know I want to be a professor, but that road is long and winding. I’m not sure what to do in my spare time.

I love to write, I know that. Writing stories is still my passion. Lyrics, short stories, novels, anything. To write is to be. I want to be famous, but that’s hard too.

I know everything is hard, we all have to decide the kind of hard we want to endure.

What do I really want? I know I don’t want to be stagnant.

What is there in life? A lot, I guess.

Choice is not a prison. I just have to make one.